New blog locale

Hey everyone I have created a new blog so go check it out. http://throughthepicketfence.blogspot.com/ and become a follower pretty please.

THE POTTY PAGES vol. I

So about a week ago I bought Adlay a her-size potty. She has shown an interest in “the ways of the bathroom” (not unlike the ways of the Jedi but that is another post for another time) and she turns 18 months old tomorrow *pauses to ShamWow the tears off her laptop keyboard* so I thought why not.

I have read the books, talked to people who have been there done that, and thought myself ready for the journey into Potty Land. For your Mapquest ponderences, Potty Land is just to the East of Sleeping Through the Nightville and a stone’s throw from Eating with Utensils Plains.

We began by decorating the potty, just like the books said people, something about ownership and making it special (read bizarre and mildly uncomfortable for me). So we, and by we I mean I, put stickers on it, painted her name on the top and let her hinder help me put it together and place it in her bathroom. We placed her favorite monkey, Bananas, on the potty to demonstrate how he “used” the potty. All the things the Potty Yodas told me to do.

So now we go sit on the elaborately decorated potty 20 minutes after breakfast, lunch and dinner every day with her clothes on, so she can get used to sitting. She doesn’t sit for more than a minute but still she sits. So according to the PYs (Potty Yodas) the next step is to sit on the potty sans lower half clothes. So we shall see what happens next.

Stay tuned for another riveting installment of the Potty Pages.

Oh and PS any and all advice is welcome. Potty Yodas can come from anywhere.

NO POO FOR YOU????

I get the green movement. I myself have begun to recycle, and try to be more energy efficient. I buy organic milk and fruits and veggies. Whole Foods has become like my second home. However there are some things, even for Mother Earth I am not willing to do. There is this movement out there to go No Poo. Ok, eeewww get your mind out of the gutters, not that poo, shampoo.

 I read about this on another blog, on the BabyCenter website and just had to share (and no I am not preggers so stop screaming, I was reading about potty training which will be for a later blog). There are people out there who have stopped shampooing their hair, in the name of nature. They claim that it makes your hair “better” after the 6 WEEK decontamination period. Uuuuummmm yeah my hair isn’t contaminated but after 6 weeks of no shampoo it would be. They claim that once your hair recovers from all the chemicals you put into it with shampoo and styling products it will look better than ever. There is no mention of how your family will recover from the smell, grease and general grossness of your unwashed mane.

 I cannot go more than 2 days without washing my hair. I have never even tried to go more than 4 days without a good sudsing. Why would anyone want to?  I mean beyond the grimy hair, if your skin is anything like mine, any extra oils and my face is broken out for days. So call me shallow if you will but this is one bandwagon I will not be jumping on, not even for the Greener Good…..get it….hahahhahaha.

 I have been known to joke about not wanting to sit or commune with the unwashed mass but if this trend catches on I might just lock myself in my house and keep my little head of hair squeaky clean. I think Mother Nature will forgive me for this one offense in lieu of what not washing my hair will do to MY environment. 

BEWARE OF DOG

Anyone who has been to my house has most likely been met at the door by a small, wienie shaped ferociously barking dog. We always laugh and tell visitors fear not, her bark is worth than her bite. Well apparently we were wrong, very, very wrong.

Ever since we have moved into the new house Lizzy has spent most hours of the day, outside chasing the squirrels and chipmunks who once resided peacefully in the backyard. I found it humorous that Lizzy, who is by all accounts, a senior citizen, thought herself capable of catching one of our furry backyard inhabitants. Oh how I underestimated her.

On Saturday night we were having dinner at the table and we heard her barking up the tree she has now claimed as hunting ground. She heard a slight commotion, then…..silence. Michael got up to go check on her and found her “gift” left for us on the back porch. That’s right people; a deceased chipmunk lay on MY BACKPORCH, mere feet from my house. (no I did not photograph it….eeeewwww) Needless to say I flipped out!!!! My dog is a killer. I can’t even bring myself to figure out how she did it. My sweet little wienie dog is a chipmunk killer. It is a sad day indeed in the Rumore house.

MY MID-WEEK LOVE LIST vol 2

So it has been awhile I know.......spare me

1. Living 5 minutes from EVERYTHING!!!
Thank the Lord on high that finally I am back where there are multiple grocery stores, shopping areas, park, libraries and restaurants within a 5-10 minute drive of my house! For the past 2 ½ years I have done the “Green Acres” thing, i.e. living in Chelsea which is a good 30 minutes from the major hub of Hoover, Vestavia Hills, Homewood, ect. and people I couldn’t do it. And yes 30 minutes is a long time when you have a less than enthusiastic 1-year-old in the back crying about her car seat confinement. Dah-ling I love you but give me Park Avenue


2. Jimmy Dean Frozen Chicken Biscuits
Since my daughter has recently become major of I-Will-Eat-Next-To-Nothingville, these little frozen miracles have saved me from people in the grocery store calling DHR because it appears I am starving my child. I don’t know if these little biscuits are coated with LSD and frankly I don’t care. She will eat them without fuss or bribery of any kind so I buy them in bulk. She has had one every morning for the last 4 weeks, and occasionally for lunch and dinner. You are welcome Mr. Dean.


3. Leg Hugs
Since Adlay isn’t wasting her time with things like eating, she has lots of extra time on her hands and has decided the best use of that time would be to hug…..everyone and everything. Her new fav is to walk up behind you when you are doing some mundane task like laundry and wrap her little arms around your leg and squeeze. It will literally melt your heart. It’s as if she somehow psychically knows when you need a hug and will deliver several just for good measure.

4. Sewing
If you have seen my Facebook statuses recently you might know I have taken up sewing on a very basic level. I am getting better and have made several dresses and little capri pants for Adlay. What I love about it is the instant gratification. Within minutes pieces of random fabrics become a wearable, and quite cute I might add, outfit. In my daily world of repetitive “No”, “Don't touch that”, “Leave the dog alone” with minuscule signs of comprehension and progress from my little learner, an instant reward of something finished is a nice repose.


5. The McDonald’s Filet of Fish Commercial
So a few weeks ago, before the Tivo was set up we had to watch TV live *GASP*. It was during this time I saw a commercial that I laughed at hysterically for no discernable reason. It is the new Mikey D’s commercial. It is stupid and random and I can’t get enough of it. I freakin’ love it. Don’t judge me……see for yourself.


Peace out.
D

MY MID-WEEK LOVE LIST

Since I have no TV and I am exhausted from a full day of childless packing I thought I would enlighten you to my most current favorite things.

1. Stopping Packing
OK so yes I am super excited to move back to civilization but DUDE how I hate this packing nonsense. For one thing it makes me kinda sick at how much “stuff” I have that I didn’t even know I had. I mean I am not a hoarder…yet, but I can scarily admit it could be a possibility. Webster’s is going to do a rewrite and list my face as the definition of acquisitive.


2. My Bare Minerals Makeup
My Mommy told me to try this brand and I freakin’ love it. Yeah it takes a little longer to put on and is kinda messy (read I’m a major clutz) but it is soooooo pretty. It stays on FOREVA and feels like nothing and if you are a female and have done an ubber makeup appie only to walk outside into the sauna that is an Alabama summer and have it MELT OFF YOUR FACE, you can appreciate that. There are loads of color for eyes and the yummiest blush colors. Lurve it


3. THIS FACE
Need I say more????? Seriously


4. My New Tuney Tunes
OK after you finish reading this most entertaining blog go to iTunes and search for A Fine Frenzy. It is awesomeness to your ears. The girl, who is the sole member, is 22 year-old Alison Sudol. Imagine if Jane Austen books had a soundtrack, she would every song. In a world where Britney Spears can inexplicably sell anything other than an unbreakable umbrella or buzz clippers *gags violently* this is a REAL singer/songwriter. I have been listening to this entire album for a week straight.


5. My New BADASS Iron Chef Kitchen
I will post some pics later but let me paint a visual picture for you. The walls are a vibrant red the likes of a beautifully ripe cherry tomato. The floors are hard wood stained a deep chocolate brown. The cabinets are custom made natural maple. The island…..HUGE!! The backsplash a combo of reds, browns and tan glass tiles of gloriousness. The appliances stainless steel and can I just talk about the 2, yes 2 cook tops. One is a traditional 5-burner gas cook top. The other, which Michael has already claimed as “his” is one like you find at a Japanese restaurant. SUHWEET!!! I am beginning to take reservations for dinners. YAY!!!

JUST A QUICKIE

Dear Lane Kiffin, 

You are a blathering idiot. Please keep your stupid big mouth shut or we will shut it for you come September. That is all.

Sincerely, 

Every other SEC coach that is fed up with your shenanigans. 

P.S. Having your Daddy consistently come to your rescue because you have no brain mouth filter is  so middle school.